Rare

I'll tell you why I don't like Krispy Kreme donuts and Oreo cookies: because I've had to clean up just one too many piles of kid vomit this week. My children don't puke anything like me. With them it just pours out, and you hardly know anything has happened until you hear it splattering on target (usually my bed, or the couch, or their beds, or the 5th towell we have put there to stop it, but hell no not a toilet or trash can or anything) and smell it. I, on the other hand, can't do it without waking up the whole house and bursting a bunch of blood vessels under my eyes. Oh well.

Who's still reading? Stop now if you're easily offended. Fruit punch and milk combine with stomach acid to make pink cottage cheese, by the way. fortune -o

"Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of awesome mystical power. We know this
because they manage to be invisible and pink at the same time. Like all
religions, the Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorns is based upon both logic
and faith. We have faith that they are pink; we logically know that they
are invisible because we can't see them."
[Steve Eley]

I just wanted to publicly say thanks for the invitation; sorry we couldn't make it. :)

Thanks for the party last night, and the presents, and the presence. So now I'm 32, and it's a very nice number in Computer Science; I mean, until very recently, we were all using 32-bit processors. It was kind of hard to figure out a nice way to arrange 32 candles into '100000' for binary, so I had to settle for '2^5'. If I could do it over again, I'd go with hexadecimal. There might be a next year, when my cake can say '0x21'. Who's senile now? It's nice of you to put up with these attempts at humor.

Here's the latest bit of fortune cookie sarcasm:

To err is human -- to blame it on a computer is even more so.
To err is human, to forgive, beyond the scope of the Operating System.
To err is human -- but it feels divine. -- Mae West
To err is human, but I can REALLY foul things up.
To err is human, but when the eraser wears out before the pencil, you're overdoing it a little.
To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.
To err is human, to forgive unusual.
To err is human, to purr feline.
To err is human, two curs canine.
To err is human, to moo bovine.
To err is human, to repent, divine, to persist, devilish. -- Benjamin Franklin
To err is human. To blame someone else for your mistakes is even more human.
To err is human; to admit it, a blunder.
To err is human; to forgive is simply not our policy. -- MIT Assasination Club

She doesn't strike me as a particularly nice person, and I never counted her among the people I highly admired, but claiming she had no moral fiber and justifying it with an untrue rumor simply won't do. Specifically, the money stolen from the organization she started was taken by a former employee, the same person who murdered her.

QOTD:

"Geology shows that fossils are of different ages. Paleontology shows a
fossil sequence, the list of species represented changes through time.
Taxonomy shows biological relationships among species. Evolution is the
explanation that threads it all together. Creationism is the practice
of squeeezing one's eyes shut and wailing "does not!".
[Dr.Pepper@f241.n103.z1.fidonet.org]

[Edit: These are quotes that my screensaver spat out today. Somebody thought
they'd make more sense if I explained that and rearranged a couple of things]


Winners in the 7th Annual Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing Contest. The contest is
named after the author of the immortal lines: "It was a dark and stormy
night." The object of the contest is to write the opening sentence of the
worst possible novel:


Like an expensive sports car, fine-tuned and well-built, Portia was sleek,
shapely, and gorgeous, her red jumpsuit moulding her body, which was as warm
as seatcovers in July, her hair as dark as new tires, her eyes flashing like
bright hubcaps, and her lips as dewy as the beads of fresh rain on the hood;
she was a woman driven -- fueled by a single accelerant -- and she needed a
man, a man who wouldn't shift from his views, a man to steer her along the
right road: a man like Alf Romeo.
-- Rachel Sheeley, winner

The hair ball blocking the drain of the shower reminded Laura she would never
see her little dog Pritzi again.
-- Claudia Fields, runner-up

It could have been an organically based disturbance of the brain -- perhaps a
tumor or a metabolic deficiency -- but after a thorough neurological exam it
was determined that Byron was simply a jerk.
-- Jeff Jahnke, runner-up





Other quotes...

Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.

Better hope the life-inspector doesn't come around while you have your life in such a mess.

You'll feel much better once you've given up hope.